Premature Ejaculation and Tantric Lovemaking

Premature Ejaculation Tip:
The whole structure and flow of Tantric Lovemaking is designed to help men to last long. You have to last long in Tantric lovemaking to be able to experience all the intense and wonderful states that Tantric lovemaking will awaken in your being.

Tantric lovemaking offers a framework, which facilitates the rising of the sexual energy that will help you to overcome problems with premature ejaculation.
Here we present a short overview of how tantric lovemaking is performed so you can see it in its entirity before we go more into detail with the individual steps.

Overview of Tantric Lovemaking

Lovemaking proceeds according to some steps which help the lovers to awaken the sexual energies and to channel them to the higher Chakras.
Here we will present you with a short runthrough of how to make love in a Tantric way.

Before Lovemaking: Inner balance and preparation


Before a tantric lovemaking you have to be very aware of your inner state as all emotions are magnified during tantric lovemaking.
The room you make love in should be beautifully prepared and can have an altar with fruits and flowers on it. Also make sure you have nice music. Go to this post to read more about preparing for Tantric lovemaking

Consecration


When you meet with your partner you sit quietly in front of each other for a couple of minutes and focus inwards. The fruits of the lovemaking are consecrated to God or to one of the Maha Vidyas. Go and read this post if you want to last long in bed with tantric lovemaking and consecration

Transfiguration


After the consecration you open your eyes and look at each other for some minutes. In this exercise you aim to see the essence of your partner.

 Go here if you want to last longer in bed with transfiguration

Forplay


Should last at least half an hour (especially if the man does not have much experience with sexual continence). You can include massage in the forplay.

 Go here to cure premature ejaculation with tantric foreplay

Lovemaking


Is made in a sequence of positions which awaken the chakras in the right order.
Go here to read up on your knowledge about chakras Premature Ejaculation and the Chakra System
and proceed afterwards to last long in bed with tantric lovemaking

Giving thanks and postludium


Sit in front of each other like you did in the consecration and give thanks to God or the Cosmic Power which you envoked. It is now best that the man and woman separate and set a couple of hours for spiritual practice including Yoga and Meditation.

If done according to this scheme, Tantric lovemaking can ensure miracles in your couple relationship and in life in general. Your level of consciousness will rise, your heart will be impregnated with love and you will have the feeling of being incredibly light, almost like flying. 
This phase is in Tantra called The Avalanche Effect

Premature Ejaculation and Mental Control

Premature Ejaculation Tips:
Control your mind and you will control your sexuality!

The mind is our central processing unit and is incredibly complex and powerful. Try take a moment to reflect about the nature of thought for example. Thoughts follow us all our life. Without learning to control the mind our thoughts and emotions will forever “tyrannize us” taking the seat on our throne. Day after day we are subject to this constantly inquiring and chatting mind. A closer study of our thoughts will reveal that they always revolve around a few central themes. Most of our thoughts belong to what yogis call the “lower mind” called manas in Sanscript. Manas never comes with new uplifting insights. Manas just runs on autopilot, like a tape recorder that plays non stop and which is triggered by different anchor and trigger points that we experience during the day. Seeing a certain kind of car triggers certain kind of thoughts, seeing certain kinds of people trigger certain kinds of thoughts and so on. Many problems with premature ejaculation can also be solved by learning to change our mindset so we don’t repeat the same thought patterns regarding our sexuality and our ability to perform between the sheets.

A great problem with taming our mind is that it is such a mystery. There is a lot of talk about the conscious and sub conscious minds now adays. A lot of talk about how we are run by our subconscious belief patterns. Patterns that dictate our self esteem and our view on ourselves. The conscious mind can process 40 bits of information per second. The subconscious mind linked directly to our autonomous nervous system processes 40 million bits of information per second. The conscious mind can seem so small and insignificant at times next to the elephant which is the subconscious mind. Reprogramming the subconscious mind can indeed be quite a task. The subconscious mind is basically just a tape player running programs that we put in there, especially in our very receptive childhood years.

There are many systems out there which seek to help us to establish a connection between our conscious mind and our subconscious minds so that we can go in there and change the programming. We have earlier mentioned EFT as an efficient method. We also have methods such as auto suggestion where you continually repeat the same sentence again and again. Lately with the movie the secret, visualization has become a hot commodity. Then there are all kind of strange and interesting alternatives ranging from NLP (neuro linguistic programming) to holographic repattening, Psyck-K, Ho oponopono. The list goes on and on.

The most important thing is simply to find methods that work best for you. With regards to curing premature ejaculation some of the most important factors are that you are able to keep your mind focused, clear, attentive and aware, while at the same time remaining relaxed and in a parasympathic state. In my opinion the two most efficient methods to do this are first and foremost meditation closely followed up by creative visualisation. Both train different aspects of the mind and both can be extremely efficient if performed correctly. These methods are the most efficient of all methods but due to the fact that both need discipline and skill, many people give up on them unfortunately.

But meditation and creative visualization is just the tip of the Iceberg. The ancient sciences of Yoga and Tantra offer countless techniques that allow a complete bridging between the conscious and subconscious minds. When these two melt together the super conscious mind is born (actually it was there all the time, we just gain access to it). The fusion between the conscious and the subconscious mind is like the meeting between the divine masculine and the divine feminine, like the sun that meets its beloved moon.

Breathing Exercises for Premature Ejaculation: Introduction

Premature Ejaculation Tip:
Performing breathing exercises for premature ejaculation is a key factor that will help you to prevent premature ejaculation. Become very aware of your breathing in the coming days. Its plays a more important role than you could imagine. Breathing exercises can generally be broken down to those you use while making love to help you sublimate the sexual energies, or those you use on a regular daily basis to help you become more calm and parasympathetic.

Breathing exercises for premature ejaculation

In order to control your sexual energy, practice sexual continence and cure premature ejaculation, you have to breathe as deeply and as relaxed as you can. All martial arts and yoga advocate that awareness and control of the breath is vital in learning to control the body and especially to control processes that lie beneath the radar of our consciousness, processes which usually are controlled by the autonomous nervous system (such as the heart beat and the digestion to take a few examples).

Breathing and Sexual response are two processes in the body which normally are involuntary, but where we actively can go in and control them with a little bit of practice. This makes these processes very good for anyone who wants to start learning to control the body at deeper levels. Breathing is generally an involuntary act, but it may just as well become a conscious one. We usually breathe without thinking about it and without changing the natural rhythm of our breath.

Breathing influences the cardiac rhythm, slow deep breathing slowing down the heart beat and fast shallow breathing speeding it up. Advanced yogis can use the breath to almost stop the heart beat making other people believe that they are dead. Tibetan monks use the breath accompanied with visualisation to perform an incredible technique called “Tumo” where they are able to use their body heat to dry wet pieces of cloth placed around their shoulders in sub zero freezing temperatures. Deep sea divers who dive without scuba gear can stay underwater for prolonged periods by learning yogic breathing exercises. Mastering our breathing does indeed give rise to amazing phenomena.
In lovemaking as you approach ejaculation the heart beat speeds up tremendously. Slowing down the breath will slow down the heart and the metabolism and “cool” you down, taking you away from the danger zone.

Breathing exercises for premature ejaculation will help you enter a parasympathetic state

Breathing is one of the quickest and best ways to take you from a sympathic nervous state into a parasympathic nervous state.
We can roughly split the breathing techniques up into two categories: Breathing exercises practiced regularly on a daily basis which will help to raise your sexual energy and thereby your overall control and breathing exercises performed during lovemaking which will help to sublimate your sexual energies removing pressure from the penis and testicles in this way helping prevent premature ejaculation.

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Kegel Exercises for Men: Anatomy of the Pelvic Muscles

Premature Ejaculation Tip:

Kegel exercises for men are much more efficient when you actually know how it looks and works down there! Knowledge about the pelvic muscles will help you in your quest to cure premature ejaculation. Did you know for example, that you actually have to work mostly on a set of muscles called the BC muscles, not the PC muscles? So start doing those kegel exercises for men!

This very comprehensive article about kegel exercises for men and theanatomy of the pelvic muscles comes from our newest book on how to cure premature ejaculation in 7 steps. You can check it out following the link below. You will get a series of free videos which guide you through why men suffer from premature ejaculation and what you can do to solve it:

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Now back to the PC muscles.

The PC Muscles

The PC muscles are instrumental in both delaying and controlling ejaculation. They are located in the perineum, the area between the anus and the sexual organs, starting in the region of the base of the penis and ending at the tail bone. The muscles in the perineum area coordinate excretion, urination and orgasm (And in case you’re wondering about the picture, those aren’t PC muscles, they’re abs! They just look more appealing than PC muscles).

There are actually more than just the PC muscles (Pubococcygeus) involved in this.
In our case we are actually just as interested in a set of muscles called the BC muscles (Bulbocavernosus).
The PC muscle surrounds the anus and meets up with the BC muscles which lie more towards the front. The PC muscle is more in charge of the excretion mechanism than the ejaculation mechanisms but still plays a role.
It is actually a misconception that perineal exercises for men are called PC muscle exercises. They should actually be called kegel exercises for men or more specifically in this case “BC muscle exercises”. When women strengthen the vagina they use the PC muscle to contract the vagina. This is not the case for men. The vagina is situated closer to the anus than the penis so the PC muscle directly affects the Vagina. In the case of men the penis sits slightly higher and is an external organ and in this case it is the BC muscle that contracts around the urethra. Hopefully the diagram below will demonstrate:

As you can see from the diagram, the PC muscle is a U shaped muscle that is attached to the hip bones towards the front, so when you flex it you pull the rectum towards the front. The vagina sits neatly in the U shape of the PC muscle so it gets directly affected when you squeeze it. In the case of men the penis lies above the cross section you see in the diagram and is therefore not in the same way affected by the squeezing movement.

The PC muscle and the Iliococcygeus muscle (IC) together combine to make Levator ani muscle which is flat and sheet like in its structure. The PC and IC muscles also keep the organs in the abdomen area from sliding downwards into the perineum area. While the PC muscles are attached to the front of the hip bone the IC muscles are attached to the sides. Both PC and IC muscles attach to the tail bone in the rear. You can actually also train the IC muscles, which can pull the anus back towards the tail bone. You can feel it as a contraction in the tail bone area.

The PC and the IC muscles can move the rectum forward or backward respectively in a horizontal movement or upwards when combined with the help of the anal sphincter. The sphincter which is funnel shaped closes the anus when contracted.

The BC muscles

Now we come to the BC muscle itself, which consists of two muscles actually, one surrounds the inner base of the penis (called the bulb) and anther surrounds the urinary tract in the shaft of the penis.

The BC muscle has two main purposes. One is to force liquid (urine or semen) out of the urethra.

This is done by the part of the BC muscle surrounding the urinary tract of the urethra. The muscle is a set of fibers which are knitted together in a socalled herringbone pattern,which is a pattern used to set up tiles. If you imagine that each of the tiles is a muscle fiber you can envisage how when each fiber contracts that it creates an upward going movement. This movement causes the seminal fluid to be propelled outward and urine to get squeezed out. This movement also causes the penis to get pulled back towards the body, which is why you can see the penis move slightly upward when you for example squeeze the last drops of urine out after urinating. Locating this part of the BC muscle is as you can imagine, absolutely crucial in learning to control your ejaculation.

The other function of the BC is that it can force blood into the corpus spongiosum and the glans, which is how we get erections. The penis consists of two main caverties, which fill with blood. The corpus spongiosum, which surrounds the urethra (giving the bulby protrudence you see on an erection on the part facing outward) and corpora cavernosum which is the part of the penis facing towards the body in an erection. It is a set of muscles called the Ischiocavernous muscles which force the blood into the corpora cavernosa (not to be mistaken with the Illiococcygeus muscles in the perineal floor). As you can see in the diagram above of the cross section of the penis from the front, the ischiocavernous muscles are neatly place to the right and left of the BC muscles surrounding the urehtra.
The bulb of the penis is a reservoir of blood. When aroused voluntary or reflex contractions of the BC and Ischiocavernosus muscles force blood into the corpora. With both sets of muscles contracting on the base and legs of the penis, a full erection is achieved.

As mentioned the BC muscle can be located by stopping the flow of urine. Even if the urine does have a closing tap like mechanism below the prostate which can stop the urine flow, contracting the BC muscles will cause peristaltic like movements in the urethra which you can feel quite easily.

Overview of Pelvic Muscles

Most important for us to know when performing kegel exercises for men is that what we usually call “PC” muscles actually is a complex set of muscles which each have different functions and movements. To sum up we can say that:

1. The PC muscles contract around the anus and aid in defecation. They tend to pull the rectum towards the front. In women the PC muscles also contract the vagina.

2. The IC muscles contract around the anus and are also used in excretion. They tend to pull the rectum towards the back and are attached to the tailbone.

3. Levitor Ani are the PC and IC muscles combined which pull up the rectum (used in defecation where the upward going movement of levitor ani combined with the peristaltic movements of the sphincter muscles cause the feces to come out).

4. The BC muscles which are responsible for milking the urethra and causing the corpus spongiosum to inflate with blood

5. The Ischiocavernosus muscles, which are resonsible for causing the corpora cavernosa to inflate with blood.

There is a lot of confusion about the PC muscles and the BC muscles as they can feel like one big muscle, but with a little bit of training the differences and subtleties become quite obvious. The PC and the BC muscle are commonly referred to as the PM muscles (Pelvic Muscles) so when I write PM muscle I actually refer to a combination of the PC and the BC muscles.

Emergency Stopping

The PM muscles can be used as an emergency way to stop an ejaculation but I would not recommend that you go so far as to use this method. It is much better to know where you are in your arousal curve than suddenly and desperately having to use the PM muscles to stop an ejaculation, which has started and where the muscular contractions already are taking place.
When making love it is of utmost importance to keep the PM muscles relaxed! Flexing them while making love is a big mistake, which will bring on the ejaculation faster. I made this mistake for years before finally finding out that one actually should relax the PM muscles instead, so I speak from bitter experience.

Kegel Exercises For Men in general

It is good to have strong PM muscles. They give you a stronger erection (remember that part of the BC muscles responsibility is pumping blood into the corpus spongeum) and will make your orgasms stronger. Strong PM muscles also give you a much better sexual control and will help to stop an ejaculation if you should be so unlucky as to cross over the point of no return.

As I mentioned you can identify the BC muscles by urinating. The BC muscle is also responsible for your ability of flexing the penis up and down, which is easy to see when you have an erection. If you cannot flex this muscle 25 times in a row or keep it flexed for 25 seconds non-stop then it could do with a litte bit of training!

Kegel Exercises For Men Will Tune the Pelvic Muscles

Our PM muscles are unfortunately not very well tuned. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me as a child that it was good to train these muscles. There are many different ways to train the PC and BC muscles and you can even design your own routine. They are often called Kegel exercises due to the man who invented these exercises. The most important aspect of kegel exercises is flexing the PM muscles and relaxing them, exactly like when you are training other muscles. They need to be flexed and then relaxed.

If you still cannot discern between the movement of the BC vs the PC muscle you can think of the flexing of the BC muscle as something that happens towards the front and the flexing of the PC muscle as something that happens towards the back. As the BC muscles actually are on both sides of the urethra it actually does feel like bringing two sets of muscles together. Flexing the PC muscle feels like you are closing in around something while pulling upward.

Training both the BC and PC muscles is good for premature ejaculation. The flexing of the BC muscles helps you to gain awareness of the whole process of ejaculation and the flexing of the PC muscles strengthens the whole area and is also very good at awakening the earth center known as “the earth chakra or Muladhara chakra in Sanskrit.  (Read our previous articles about the chakras and coming posts with Kegel Exercises for Men).

KEGEL EXERCISES FOR MEN TRAINING IN TantraCURE

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Last Long in Bed By Controlling Your Arousal

Premature Ejaculation Tip:
Cure early ejaculation by becoming aware of the phases of arousal.

In order to cure early ejaculation we have to be able to control our minds, our breath and sexuality itself. When we speak about sexuality in this case we refer to our ability to control arousal ,which is correlated with our ability of being aware about how aroused we are. This needs a certain level of sensory refinement.

If you are a compulsive masturbator you might have a brain that is not very wired to perceive all the different subtleties of lovemaking. The problem with compulsive masturbation is that you are often “on” or “off”. There are no variations of inbetween. A compulsive masturbator addicted to Internet pornography will often go straight to the most exciting pictures. He will look at them getting excited straight away firing cortisol and dopamine in his brain. His attention would typically be more on arousal he gets in “his brain” than a deep conscious feeling of the whole body.

In this kind of activity the mind is completely focused on the images. Before you know it you reach a level of excitement where you want to get off, you pull out your penis and ejaculate. I know this sounds very rough but this is unfortunately the kind of sexuality practiced by many men now adays. In this way sexuality gets disassociated with the body and becomes a very cerebral thing. Either you’re on or you’re off.

Learning to control your arousal is one of the biggest keys in learning to control your orgasm and should indeed be one of your biggest goals. Here we should underline that we are not speaking about avoiding arousal but of becoming aware of our levels of arousal. Many men try to remove arousal by thinking of grandma or brocolli. This doesn’t work nearly as effectively as simly becoming aware of how aroused you are. By trying to think of other things while making love you make yourself guilty of repression. Don’t repress! Become aware instead. Awareness gives you an ability to embrace things instead of pushing them away (with brocolli and grandma!).

Awareness gives you a very deep level of control. Controlling without awareness leads to brute force. Controlling with awareness leads to refined subtlety. Its like learning to ride a horse. A good rider knows the horse and can give subtle cues to where he wants the horse to go. An unskilled rider has no skill whatsoever. He drives his heel into the body of the horse and it races of leaving the rider in the dust. Your sexual energy is a wild powerful animal and you need to know how to communicate with it. Only then will it take you where you want it to go. It is one of the key elements in this school of life for men. We must learn to control our sexuality because otherwise our sexuality controls us.

By controlling your arousal you prevent too much energy (blood, bio electricity, chemical reactions) in building up causing the ejaculation with orgasm. With the awareness you learn through relaxation and massage (which we speak of later) you learn to maneuvre your horse in a parasympathic state.
Men who control their sexuality are experts at keeping their bodies in a parasympathic state. The moment you switch over to a sympathic state your horse starts to run wild.
Before learning to control arousal you should understand how it works. First of all nobody can explain in full details how arousal and the human sexual response works. It’s very complex involving hormones, physiology, psychology, energy systems etc. Nomatter all this complexity one can roughly divide the process of arousal into the following steps:

Phase 1: You are not in any way stimulated.
Phase 2: A physical or mental sensation starts the arousal and the penis starts to fill up with blood.
Phase 3: The erection becomes full. You are still relaxed and in a parasympathic state. The pulse rises a bit and your testicles loosen up.
Phase 4: Arousal shoots up. Warm sensations arise in the genital area as there is more blood. The glans of the penis becomes bigger and more purple in color. The pulse rises and the breath goes up. The testicles pull up towards the penis. The sympathic nervous system is activated.
Phase 5: The intense arousal and continued physical and psycic stimulation has lead to a continous accumulation of energy in the genital region and your nervous system has been stimulated enough to start the ejaculation process. The muscles start tensing and pulling together rythmically
Phase 6: After passing the point of no return the orgasm starts followed by ejaculation.
Phase 7: Postludium. The man crashes over on his side and depending on his level of tiredness and romance he falls asleep leaving the woman wondering if that was it.

Many men go through life without ever being aware about their different levels of arousal, much less caring about how to control it. With the analogy of the horse its like either the horse is completely still and not budging and inch or its racing wildly off with you on it desperately trying to make it slow down.

With the aforementioned phases its important to remember that there is no fixed time limit for these processes. It might stretch over 5 minutes or 5 hours. You are the one that decides the pace!

Its also important to understand that going into phase 3 can happen without physical stimulation. This is what happens in nervous young inexperienced men. Simply looking at the woman in front of them sends them into phase 3 and with one touch he is gone. This is also what happens to men who are too engaged in pornography. They enter stage 3 straight away looking at the pornography becoming more and more aroused. When the arousal becomes big enough they whip out their mandom and ejaculation occurs quickly.

The whole idea behind learning to control your ejaculation is to keep your body in a parasympathic state as long time as possible. You should keep yourself in phase 3 as long time as possible. You should learn to recognize the phases so you quickly can identify them.
The moment you cross over into phase 4 it becomes very difficult to go backwards unless you completely stop and relax your whole body waiting up to 30 seconds for your level of arousal to go back to phase 3.
As I mentioned before, awareness gives power. By becoming aware of where you are in your arousal curve gives you the ability to control the arousal.

It is also of great importance to know that you should not wait til the last moment before starting to control your arousal. Make it into a habit of becoming aware of where you are in your arousal curve from the moment you meet a woman til the moment you climax. This is a great source of self-knowledge and you will be very happy you did this. In the next chapter about mental control we will give you techniques which ampliphy your ability to become aware in any situation. Awareness is a state of mind that must be cultivated and refined and meditation is one of the best ways of doing this.

Curing Premature Ejaculation with the Tantric Triangle

Premature Ejaculation Tip:
Cure premature ejaculation by understanding the correlation between mind, breath and premature ejaculation.
Control your mind and you control your breath and delay ejaculation.
Control your breath and you control your mind and delay ejaculation.

An often-encountered schematic diagram when speaking about learning to control sexuality is the socalled “Tantric Triangle”. This is the idea, that three very important functions of the human body: the mind, breathing and sexuality directly affect each other.
If you control your mind you can control your breath and your sexuality. If you control your breathing you also gain control over your mind and your sexuality. If you control your sexuality you gain control over your mind and your breathing.
Go here to Last long in Bed By Controlling Your Arousal
or here to learn about Breathing Exercises for Premature Ejaculation
and finally here to read more about Premature Ejaculation and Mental Control

When we refer to the mind we refer to the spectrum of activity that relates to the mind: thought processes, beliefs, mental commands, auto suggestions and visualisations.
If our minds are relaxed and not caught up in anxious thinking our breathing automatically slows down. Having a relaxed mind will also make us relaxed with our sexuality. We will not get stressed out by a lovemaking situation and will have a greater tendency to observe the sexual act. Being able to lucidly observe something gives greater control instead of when you are mindlessly caught up in a process. If you are making love and you notice that you are getting too aroused then take a moment to see whats going through your mind. Is anybody at home? Are you there mentally? Or do you have a million thoughts racing through your mind like wild monkeys? Is your mind full of fearful thoughts and images undermiming your self-confidence or is it full of useless parasitic thoughts pertaining to tomorrows shopping? Become aware of what you are thinking to gain awareness of the present moment.

When we refer to breath we refer to the way of breathing, whether it is deep or shallow. Fast or slow. Whether you breathe through the nose or mouth etc. Breathing slowly and deeply will calm the mind. Breathing deeply also awakens your heart chakra making you feel present and content. Content people don’t think as hectically as very cerebral people who have a tendency of overanalysing all situations and worrying. Breathing deeply and steadily is also one of the best ways to control the sexual arousal. If you are getting aroused too quickly try noticing your breath, are you breathing completely out of control? Take a moment and reestablish slow rhythmical breathing.

When we refer to sexuality we speak about the level of arousal and the activity of the muscles surrounding the sexual organs. By relaxing the muscles around our sexual organs we often find that this helps us relax our minds and our breathing. There is a lot of subconscious tension that lies in this area. The more tensed the muscles are in that region the more uptight we become and less focused in the present moment. When the energy is not flowing in the sexual region people become “uptight” and frustrated. By learning to consciously relax in the pelvic region we gain control over the breathing and we start to relax the mind. If while making love you suddenly discover that you are getting too close to ejaculation you can start to become aware of your pc muscles. You can start to consciously relax them as much as possible. This is just an example of many things you can do on the sexual level that will cause your mind and breath to relax as well.

In the previous articles we mentioned the chakras giving you an overview of where you might have deficiencies and how you could fix these deficiencies.
The mind is correlated to Ajna and Vishuddha chakra. Our mind is very much strengthened by working on these two chakras.
The breathing is seated in Anahata and Manipura. Our empathy and our will power grow when we start working with our breath. Yogic breathing exercises awaken the heart creating more love, devotion and empathy in our lives. Focusing the breath is also very much used in different martial arts to focus and accumulate the energy on manipura chakra giving enormous strength and willpower.
Sexuality is seated in Svadhistana and Muladhara chakras. Working with muladhara will give you an enormous sexual vitality and working with svadhistana will make you sexually charismatic and give you good control over your sexuality.

That is why a good program to solve premature ejaculation must contain exercises that stimulate the mind, the breathing and the sexuality. In this way the whole bodies energetic system is stimulated. Knowing about the chakras will also help you to evaluate whether you should work mostly with your mind, your breath or your sexuality depending on which chakras you have deficiencies.
If by studying the chart in the previous chapter you find out that you have a lot of financial anxiety or you that you feel ungrounded and insecure, this shows that you need to work on muladhara chakra, meaning you have to start working with exercises that give you more earth energy. In the case of the Tantric triangle of mind, breath and sexuality it means that you should put most focus on exercises pertaining to arousal and sexuality. PC muscle exercises would be good for you.

If on the other hand you found out that you often are sad and often feel a feeling of non belonging it is your heart chakra that needs awakening. Your problems with premature ejaculation might very well be related to this deficiency in your energetic structure. In this case working with breathing exercises would be of great use to you.
Your problem might be a deficiency in ajna or vishuddha chakras giving you poor focus and poor intuition faculties. In this case problems with premature ejaculation might very well be solved if you awaken these higher chakras by refining your mind, by learning visualisation, by fine tuning your intuition etc

Premature Ejaculation and Masculinity

Premature Ejaculation Tip:
If you suffer from premature ejaculation instead of crying about it, become a man, because sexual energy is feminine in nature and to control it you have to become masculine. The most important aspects of masculinity when it comes to overcoming premature ejaculation are the aspects of virility, self confidence and ability to radiate love.

Before reading this post I recommend you to enhance your knowledge about premature ejaculation and masculinity by reading:
Cure Premature Ejaculation by Understanding Polarity
Men Should Learn to be Men and Women Should Learn to be Women
Don’t Have a Woman in Your Life? Become the Man for That Woman

Many of us men compare ourselves to the masculine ideal presented in Pornographic material. These men seem to be able to last forever. Don’t be fooled by this, many of the top stars in the world of pornography are either natural born talents (rare) or have trained themselves for years. They know their bodies very well and how it performs. After countless gigs and shooting sessions they know how to control their levels of arousal so it can awaken and peak at their command. Their livelihood is dependant upon it so they practice and train.

Many porn stars actually start learning how to have multiple orgasms and many also describe altered states of consciousness which arises from being able to control the sexual energy and being able to channel the sexual energy into other types of energy as we have discussed earlier.

If you suffer from premature ejaculation instead of crying about it, become a man, because sexual energy is feminine in nature and to control it you have to become masculine. The most important aspects of masculinity when it comes to overcoming premature ejaculation are the aspects of virility, self confidence and ability to radiate love.

A man that is virile is often not only virile between the sheets, but in other parts of his life as well. Virile can mean the ability to have an erection for a long period of time, but it can also describe a man’s power and strength. His ability to penetrate any situation with a cool overview and authority.
If we analyze the times that we have suffered from premature ejaculation we will see that it is often due to being nervous and not having a good overview of the situation.

A man who has inner power and a good overview is able to dance with the feminine. He is not afraid of women or of life itself (which is seen in eastern philosophies as being feminine in its essence). When a man is in contact with his inner core of masculinity he can stand still against the waves of the feminine. He will stand strong and straight like the mast of a great ship. He will not sink in front of the challenges of life but face them full on. This is a very attractive trait for women because it allows them to be able to relax and go into their feminine nature.

When a man rests in his power and a woman gives herself to him a strong polarity is formed between the man and the woman. This increased polarity makes the lovemaking more magical and gives a strong spark in the relationship.

Step 7: Having The Proper Lovemaking Skills

You need the proper skills to make love for a long time. Lovemaking is an artform where certain emotional states and energies need to be awakened at the right times in the process. Most men don’t know for example that foreplay is more important for men than women because it calms them down and puts them into contact with their bodies. Most men don’t know how to touch women in a way that brings the woman pleasure while at the same time bringing self confidence and pleasure allowing them the surplus to extend the lovemaking. Making love for a long time is like conducting a symphony. Things have to be done in the right order with the right timing.

Learn the secrets of lasting long with my series of posts about Tantra

Step 6: Masculinity

With premature ejaculation you enter a vicious cycle. To perform well you need to feel self confident and centered, but each time you ejaculate too early, part of that confidence fades away leading you to perform worse the next time. This downward spiraling has to stop and it can stop by you becoming aware about what masculinity is and how you can create more masculinity in your life.
Masculine men don’t have a problem with premature ejaculation. With masculinity comes virility, self control, overview and self confidence. All energy is feminine in nature and sexual energy is not excluded from this. Only awakened masculine consciousness can properly deal with it.

Learn what masculinity is and how you can become more masculine and this will help you in bed and in life in general.

To read more about the subject we invite you to read the following post:
Premature Ejaculation and Masculinity

Step 5: Mastering Your Arousal

Depending on what hormonal typology you are, you have different exercises, which help you to last longer. The most efficient exercises are pelvic muscle exercises, breathing exercises and mental control exercises including visualisations and meditations.

Knowing about the pelvic muscles is essential in controlling the arousal. Most people have no idea about what actually goes on down in the pelvic area. Actually there are many muscles down there, apart from the PC muscles there are also the BC muscles and the anal sphincter muscles and a load more of other muscles responsible for controlling the ejaculation. With a bit of simple practice you will learn to discern between these muscles so that it no longer will be like a “black box” for you where you have no idea what is actually happening down there. Most men that suffer from premature ejaculation go from a state of nervous arousal to ejaculating without knowing what happens between these two states.
Distributing the sexual energy with correct breathing is also essential to lasting longer. Breathing exercises can be performed on a daily basis to improve your circulation of energy in the body and also during the lovemaking itself.

Mental control is absolutely essential in lovemaking. Staying aware while relaxed at the same time is the key to success.

For an overview of the methods used to cure premature ejaculation please read:
Curing Premature Ejaculation with the Tantric Triangle

Or perhaps you would like to become a master between the sheets by reading the following post:
Last Long in Bed By Controlling Your Arousal

Kegel exercises for men are very useful:
Kegel Exercises for Men: Anatomy of the Pelvic Muscles

Breathing exercises for premature ejaculation:
Breathing Exercises for Premature Ejaculation: Introduction

Meditation and Visualization Exercises for premature ejaculation:
Premature Ejaculation and Mental Control

Learn the secrets of lasting long with my series of posts about Tantra
Premature Ejaculation and Tantric lovemaking

Step 4: Sexual Energy Management

Sexuality ties into your whole being. Before you can start taming your sexual energy you have to know what sexual energy is and how it affects your moods and emotions. Sexual energy can be alchemized and transmutated to higher energies within your being. This teaching lies at the very core of Tantra. Top achievers all instinctively know this. Athletes refrain from ejaculation before a big event because they channel the sexual energy to top performance on the big day. Great politicians also know that to have success they need to channel their sexual energy into the charismatic skills needed to hypnotize people into following them. Hitler for example, was very aware of the use of his sexual energy. He had a huge magnetizing charisma that spellbound a whole nation. It is said that many women simply would get orgasms when they came near him. Such was his power. Initiated tantrics know that this is what comes from managing your sexual energy correctly. Hitler unfortunately used his sexual energy for detrimental purposes but great saints and sages have all used the sexual energy for their spiritual practice channeling their sexual energy into high states of self realization.

Harnessing the sexual energy will not only cure premature ejaculation pushing you toward sexual mastery, it will also enable you to make huge progress in all domains of life giving you more charisma, power, intuition and intelligence. This is one of the great secrets of erotic Tantra.

For the most spiritual sexual system in the world please read about:
Curing Premature Ejaculation with Tantra

If you would like to know more about balancing the energy system in order to cure premature ejaculation:
Curing Premature Ejaculation by balancing the Chakras

If you would like to read about the dangers of compulsive masturbation:
Overmasturbation and premature ejaculation

Or read about the advantages of retaining the sexual energy with Sexual Continence:
My Personal Experiences With Sexual Continence

Or how frequently you should masturbate:
Ejaculation Frequency – How Often to Ejaculate

For an overview of the methods used to cure premature ejaculation please read:
Curing Premature Ejaculation with the Tantric Triangle

Or perhaps you would like to become a master between the sheets by reading the following post:
Last Long in Bed By Controlling Your Arousal

Step 3: Balancing Your Hormones

It turns out that we can roughly be divided into 4 categories depending on what kind of hormones we are most receptive to. Depending on whether you are a Serotonine, dopamine, testosterone or estrogen typology you will need different kinds of diets and lifestyles to balance your hormonal levels thereby also helping you to solve problems with premature ejaculation. Instead of taking pills containing hormones promising to help you balance out your hormones, why not do it the natural way?

A great part of balancing your hormones is coming to terms with addiction. Addiction causes imbalances in the hormonal system leading to premature ejaculation. Messing with your natural dopamine levels with addictive habits such as internet pornography or compulsive masturbation can lead to huge imbalances in the brain leading to lack of sensitivity and ejaculatory control.

To understand more about the role neurochemistry plays with Premature Ejaculation please read:

Are Mens Brains Wired to Ejaculate Prematurely?

Are you a Serotonine, Dopamine, Testosterone or Estrogen typology? Find out by reading:
Cure Premature Ejaculation by knowing whether you are a builder, explorer, director or negotiator

You might also like:

Step 2: Learning to Relax

The thing with relaxing to last longer is often difficult for us men to grasp.
Many men come to me and say, “Yeah Hans, I guess I suffer from premature ejaculation because I am stressed and I am not relaxing”.
Many people associate relaxing with throwing yourself into your favorite couch and watching some football on a Sunday afternoon.

Well yes…

But relaxation is more than that.

Lets make an experiment …

Next time you are making love try and become VERY AWARE ABOUT YOUR WHOLE BODY.

You will find that if you are over excited and close to the edge that something in your body is not relaxed. Honestly. Try it out. You’ll be amazed.

I’ll repeat. If you’re close to the edge, something in you is not relaxing.

That part of you is usually the pelvic muscles. Notice the uncontrollable fluttering that starts in the muscles in that area. Another part of you that is not relaxed is your mind. What’s going on in that mind of yours? Other parts that need your attention are your breathing and checking out muscle tensions in arms and legs.

Awareness and relaxation are key factors.

YOU CANNOT RELAX UNTIL YOU BECOME AWARE ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE NOT RELAXING!!!

Do you know why many people don’t sleep well? Why they wake up not feeling refreshed? That’s because they are tensing in their bodies while sleeping. They go to bed with tensions all over the place. If they performed a simple relaxation of the whole body before sleeping they would wake up much more refreshed.
In fact, let me break it to you:

YOU NEED DISCIPLINE TO LEARN TO RELAX!

Amazing isn’t it, but true. In Japan there are courses that teach the Japanese how to go on holiday and relax – believe it or not!
You need to learn to go into every part of your body and to relax it consciously. When your body is relaxed you allow your sexual energy to flow in your whole body, and when that happens, you’ll be on cloud 9. Imagine pulsating, vibrating, ecstatic sexual energy flowing through your whole body making your fingers and your toes tingle, making your head giddy with pleasure, making your heart feel like exploding with a feeling of union and ecstacy. Now that’s what you will be experiencing when you learn to relax.
When you relax you let life energy flow through you. Now that doesn’t sound bad does it?

CHECK OUT TantraCURE!
TECHNIQUES THAT WILL HELP YOU RELAX DEEPLY IN YOUR PELVIC MUSCLES, YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND ALLOWING YOU TO CURE PE – FOR GOOD!

In my newest ebook TantraCURE I have included a section about premature ejaculation and relaxation.

==> TantraCURE: Learn to relax deeply so you can overcome Premature Ejaculation <==

TantraCURE consists of 2 manuals, a 12 week exercise program and a member forum where you can ask any question you might have about premature ejaculation and the exercise program. This combination is the fastest way of dealing with PE as you have a manual, a personal mentor (yes, me!) and a group of like minded souls who also want to overcome the problem.

Step 1: Why Clearing Your Emotions Will Help You Cure PE

In my work with men I have seen that 90% of men who suffer from premature ejaculation have a lot of negative self talk going on.
There are many detrimental emotions surrounding premature ejaculation. There is a lot of guilt, a lot of lack of self worth and a lot of anxiety about your loved one leaving you.

The first thing you have to know is that it’s not your fault.

There are many things you never had the opportunity to learn about sexuality.

These things are never addressed in the sexual education we received while growing up.

Nobody ever taught us this stuff.

I personally never received and sexual education that told me how to approach sexuality and how to masturbate in a way that helped me to have a good ejaculatory control.

Without this kind of knowledge we gain a lot of bad masturbatory habits especially in our teenage years when we learn to ejaculate quickly in order not to get caught. Unfortunately we carry this quick reflexive response with us into our adult years where we absolutely have no wish to come quickly anymore!

And as a result of the PE you start hitting yourself in the head telling yourself that you’re not good enough, that you’re not a man, that you should erase yourself of the surface of the planet etc. This is a shame, because instead of going straight to where the issue really lies; in the controlling of the ejaculatory reflex we wind up building up a whole cloud of trauma around the issue instead.

Unfortunately suffering from PE brings with it a whole host of detrimental emotions which need to be addressed first and foremost so we have the peace and clarity that is needed to lucidly start working where it really matters.

A list of the most common emotional issues among men who suffer from PE

To help you on the way I have provided a list of many of the emotions among men that I have helped and counseled. First you have to identify which emotion one applies to you and start actively working with that emotion to heal it and to let go of it. As long as you have these bad emotions surrounding your sexuality you literally channel your sexual energy into them. Bad emotions around your sexuality literally creates a kind of “fog” around your sexuality and prevents you from channeling your sexual energy to the higher more beneficial emotions such as strength, love, faith, devotion, happiness etc.

The most detrimental emotions that men face relating to their sexuality are as follows:

Premature ejaculation and Ignorance

Many men don’t know that premature ejaculation is a problem, don’t know how sexuality affects the quality of their lives and don’t care much either.

Premature ejaculation and Denial

Some men know they have a problem but refuse to accept it.

Premature ejaculation and Non communication

Many relationships die because men have a problem but will not speak about it with their loved ones. Women feel very lonely when met by the solid wall of a non communicative man.

Premature ejaculation and Guilt

Despite the modern times, many men still are guilty about sexuality. They think sex is dirty and would rather not deal with the issues. Guilt and denial are closely related.

Premature ejaculation and Frustration

When our sexual energy is not channeled properly it results in an emotion of frustration.

Premature ejaculation and Performance anxiety

Many men feel confident in life but all of a sudden when in front of a beautiful woman they lose all centering and self confidence. Being nervous gives weak erections and a feeling of being out of touch with your manhood which result in premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation and Masculinity issues

Nowadays men face many problems with masculinity. Men have become weaker and lost inner guidance and women have become over masculine to compensate.

Premature ejaculation and Over confidence

When in a lovemaking situation it can feel so good that the man gets greedy. He forgets to monitor his arousal levels and before he knows it, its game over.

Premature ejaculation and Stress/tension

If you have a stressed life you tense up in your body and your brain releases cortisol in your body. Stress makes you enter a parasympathetic nervous state which is the mode you are in when you ejaculate. Being calm and relaxed is a key factor in overcoming premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation that comes from Lack of Love

Another major cause of premature ejaculation is a feeling of lacking love. If you lack love you feel disengaged with life and you become distant and not present.

Premature ejaculation due to Lack of Growth

Premature Ejaculation issues also often come to men who feel stuck in their lives. If there is no growth, no enthusiasm, no feeling of achieving your life goals, the sexual energy does not rise and there will be a tendency for carelessness in ones approach to sexuality.

The first step to gaining sexual mastery is letting go these emotions. Clearing away the bad stories you tell yourself about your sexuality is half of the battle. Techniques that give you emotional relief should be an integral part of a daily exercise program that includes pelvic muscle exercises, breathing exercises, relaxation, mental control work etc.

CHECK OUT TantraCURE!
FOR A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO TECHNIQUES THAT CAN HELP YOU CLEAR OUT THOSE EMOTIONS. THE FIRST STEP TO CURING PE – FOR GOOD!

In my newest ebook TantraCURE I have included a huge section about premature ejaculation and detrimental emotions.

==> TantraCURE: Premature Ejaculation and detrimental emotions <==
TantraCURE consists of 2 manuals, a 12 week exercise program and a member forum where you can ask any question you might have about premature ejaculation, all the detrimental emotions surrounding the problem and any other blockages you might encounter on your path to sexual mastery.

Clearing out these emotions and giving yourself some slack is much easier than you think and just 5-10 minutes of daily exercise can clear out this fog giving you new found enthusiasm and passion so you can go about the other exercises that are presented in the 12 week program. This simple emotional clearing is the first step in a 7 step process that will open your mind to a whole new world of sexual energy management not only curing premature ejaculation but also giving you a complete road map on how you can harness your sexuality to create amazing results in your life.